The elephant in the room

 

Put two or more people together in any situation and there is bound to be divergent views, ideas, clash of egos. And why not? No two people are alike. These clashes will be blown out of proportion if they are not addressed on time.

The proverbial elephant in the room or the elephant in the living room (whichever way you want to call it) refers to the problem that exists. It is something that cannot be ignored.

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So why do we choose to ignore it?

Denial is a state of mind where the person simply refuses to acknowledge that an event has occurred. The person prefers to act as if nothing has happened which seems bizarre to people around him. A simple example is that of an alcoholic who simply refuses to accept that he is one. It is to a great extent subconscious and the sufferer is turning a blind eye to the situation. Burying your head in the sand will not make the problem disappear.

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In an interesting article on The Psychology of Willful Blindness, Margaret Hefferman  talks about human brain and its likes and dislikes. ‘What does your brain like? What gets the “yes” vote? It likes the stuff it already recognizes. It likes what is familiar.’

What happens in such situations is that the person sees the familiar stuff immediately, but the unknown may register slowly or never in his mind.

She uses the following metaphor from Robert Burton to illustrate this concept: ‘Imagine the gradual formation of a riverbed. The initial flow of water might be completely random — there are no preferred routes in the beginning. But once a creek is formed, water is more likely to follow this newly created path of least resistance. As the water continues, the creek deepens and a river develops.’

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Man is a creature of habit. It is but natural that there is an obvious fear of the unknown. As a result, when there is a necessity to incorporate the new, he prefers to stick to his comfort zone and fall into his old traditions and customs. An example close home is my mother who always uses her debit card to shop, but prefers to go into a bank personally to withdraw rather than use an ATM. The logic and reasoning behind that is beyond me!

More often than not it is ego that makes people ignore the problems facing them. This is especially true in personal relationships.

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So how do we tackle the elephant?

When overwhelmed by sudden changes, it is alright not to think about them immediately.  It is anyhow significant to remember that this denial can only be temporary. A person may need some time to adapt and adjust to the new situation. The reality is not going to change at any cost.

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Change is the only constant in life and the sooner one accepts it, the better. It is important not to fall into a permanent rut in life.

In personal relationships, it is paramount to talk and sort out the issues, understand the other person’s point of view.

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We could

  • Do an introspection and analyse our fears
  • Enumerate the fears and feelings
  • Reflect rationally on the consequences of denial,
  • Discuss with a friend or partner, and
  • Accept facts and the truth.

 

There is no easy fix to any problem. A complete understanding of the situation is required at all times. Do that and you could say ‘All was right in the world’.

 

Thank you Google for all the lovely images in my blog…

#understanding #elephantintheroom

 

Easy Fix

Understanding

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Troop of monkeys troop in

I saw the prompt for the day for #developingyoureye #photography and was thinking about human emotions and feelings. I decided to combine it with my post for the Daily Prompt ‘expert’ and get going….

Don’t animals get the same feeling of bliss? While eating, feeding, caring for their little ones… Of course they do. And it so happened I was hanging clothes out to dry in my backyard and I suddenly found a troop of monkeys on the boundary walls trying to feed on berries, guavas, leaves. I dropped everything that I was doing and rushed to the balcony on the first floor with my camera to shoot them (no bloodbath there!!!). I am no expert at photography and that too animal photography but did try my best.

All the action was happening in the houses on the left and right of the house behind mine.

The agility and expertise with which they walked on the walls with their babies, balanced on thin branches was a sight to see. Unfortunately I could not keep clicking at that speed.

Hmmmmm…. learning photography is certainly on my bucket list.

 

 

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I am the Lord of all I survey.

 

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Baby piggybacking on mommy

A baby money was piggybacking on its mommy or should I say monkeybacking???

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Mommy trying to catch the baby as it was slipping off the wall
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On the balance beam???

 

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Walking in uninvited

The neighbour’s gate was open and the monkeys walked in to gorge on onions and potatoes. Note the baby’s arms as it holds on its mommy.

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To jump or not to jump, that is the question
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Gorging on the onions

 

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Peekaboo

#bliss #developingyoureyes #photography #monkeys #expert #dailyprompt

Expert

Nature’s Bounty

 

These are pictures clicked on the drive from Shimla to Kufri of the snow along the roads and the snow clad mountains in the far distance.

 

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View from Kufri

 

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Two naked trees standing in the cold
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Snow clad mountains in the background

 

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The pristine snow in Kufri

#developingyoureyes #photography #naturalworld #Kufri #snow

Little drops of water

Little drops of water, little grains of sand

Make the mighty ocean and the beauteous land…. Julia Carney

When you stand on the shores of the ocean, the sheer majesty makes you feel so humble. As far as your eyes can see, you spot no land. The water ebbs and flows continuously, tirelessly leaving you awestruck.

Water changes hues and colours depending on the time of the day. It is a sight to behold.

I share a few shots of the Atlantic Ocean shot at different times and on different dates. Nature at its majestic best.

 

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lovely shades of atlantic

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I feel so small when I look at God’s creations.

#photography @developingyoureyes #sunsets #liberia #drop #beaches

 

This is a post for the Daily Prompt ‘Drop’.

Dwarfed by the giant

 

These are Giant Movers that were used in mining and transporting iron ore. they were abandoned by LAMCO when they exited Liberia in the wake of the Civil War.

 

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You feel like ants in front of these heavy equipment. I cannot imagine driving one of these. Just take a look at the people standing next to it.

 

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Just see how small a human being looks standing on one of the movers. Talk of scale….

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#developingyoureyes #photography #scale #Liberia #Yekepa #mining #ironore